Ask a Lawyer is a public chat forum, where you can ask lawyers for very general information. Because it is public, your questions, comments, and responses are not confidential. Please contact a lawyer in our Directory directly if you need a private opinion about your specific circumstances.
Hi there, I have two children, and their father and I have been separated since 2017. We were common-law for 7 years, never married. We implemented a Separation Agreement that we wrote collaboratively, with the help of our lawyers, and filed it in 2021. It is still our active agreement, and specifies that we share 50/50 custody and follow a one week rotation between our homes.
Right before this agreement was finalized, he had filed an application to the courts and was granted temporary sole custody for a short period of time, pending my completion of a hair follicle drug test. After the testing was completed, him and I worked together to write the Separation Agreement.
One of the clauses in this agreement states that if either parent is to miss an exchange of the children or their parenting time, that the other parent will gain sole custody. My ex is claiming that I missed a large amount of my paenting time last year, and that they were not able to reach me for months, which is not at all true. I have always been a present parent and have always gone above and beyond in regards to fulfilling my responsibilities with the children. I have never been unreachable for longer than a day or two when the children were not in my care.
My ex is now claiming that because I allegedly missed all of this time, that he has sole custody of the children. There has been nothing put in place by the courts, no applications put in, no changes made to our situation. I recently got a procedure record from the courts that confirms this. However, he is still saying he has full custody, has completely prevented me from exercising my parenting time, even talking to the children on the phone, He has wrongfully told the school that he has custody and that I am not allowed to pick the children up, He has lied to his lawyer, who, based on his distorted reiteration of the events of the last year, has now advised him to withhold my access to the children. He has even told the children these things. I tried to pick them up from school two weeks ago at the start of my week and it was evident that he not been truthful in what he has told them and that they have been instructed not to leave with me.
I have tried discussing this with my ex, but it is impossible to have a civil conversation with him. I provided the Separation Agreement and the procedure record to the school to show that he does not have full custody, and they have updated their files to reflect this, however when I requested a bit of support when I came to pickup for my week, just to reassure the children that they are allowed to leave with me and that they aren't doing anything wrong (they need this bit of reassurance, as it is very apparant that they think they will be in trouble if they dont listen to their dad), and I was told that they dont facilitate parenting exchanges.
I contacted the local authorities, and they will not help me as there is not a police enforcement clause in our agreement.
How do I go about enforcing my panenting time? The last thing I want to do is make a big scene at the school, and with my ex misleading all parties involved, that complicates things even further. I did not miss the time that he claims I did, and this is completely immoral and unfair. I will be submitting applications to the courts to have our arrangement adjusted, however I know the court process isn't exactly a quick one, and I can't wait that long.
Is there anything that I can do right now to have my parenting time? It's simply awful that he can just concoct a few lies and keep my children from me like this. I don't know what do do. I have missed so much time with my children as it is, and without cause, and I need to stop my ex''s power trip and his manipulation of everyone involved. Please - any advice or suggestions you are able to offer me would be very much appreciated. I have no idea how to navigate this situation and am trying to do whatever I can to keep the peace and keep the children from seeing any of the conflict or hostility.
Thank you in advance.
04 months ago
Dawn Nelson - Dawn L. Nelson, Barrister & Solicitor (Edmonton) Verified Lawyer
Hi Danielle,
I am sorry you are going through this. However, this is not something that can addressed in a public discussion forum. I would strongly recommend you speak to a lawyer, preferably the one who helped you write up the Separation Agreement.
Separation Agreements are not standardized and as a private contract between the parties, can be tailored to fit the specific family circumstances. A lawyer ought to be able to explain your contract to you in plain language, advise if there has been a breach of contract, and, if so, figure out what can or cannot be done about it. Please note that Separation Agreements are not "filed" anywhere. Only you and the other parent would have a copy, with your lawyers optionally retaining a copy in their records. If you do not go back to the lawyer who helped with the Agreement, then you will have to provide a copy to any new lawyer you contact.
Why would you agree to a draconian clause in your Separation Agreement? You can advance into Court using Legal Aid or court counsellors or a lawyer as suggested but make sure you are squeaky clean re drugs and alcohol (with proof of sobriety re a recent hair follicle test ideally). If you can do any high conflict parenting type course, do so and get a certificate for evidence. Do all coursework you can to look as good as possible in court. Also do not email , tweet, Facebook or text any statements that you do not want to see reproduced in a future Affidavit. Some people even tape conversations. Be civil. Be reasonable. Possily Offer to participate in parenting time initially with another trusted family member if the other party is questioning your sobriety.
14 months ago
You must log in or sign up to reply to conversations.
DISCLAIMER: The information herein is not legal, tax, or accounting advice or opinions.
This website contains content and files submitted by third parties, to which you download or view at your own risk.
The Alberta Legal Coaches and Limited Services Society is merely a directory, it is not responsible for the actions or omissions of the lawyers listed in its directory.
By using this website, you agree to release the Alberta Legal Coaches and Limited Services Society, its agents, employees, and directors from all present and future claims and liability, including liability arising from any negligence.
